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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22762240">Half-Baked Confession</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ririruby/pseuds/ririruby'>ririruby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tsukusora fics [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>THE iDOLM@STER, The iDOLM@STER Sidem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon typical Sora self-hatred+anxieties, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:00:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22762240</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ririruby/pseuds/ririruby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sora undergoes a far-too complicated plan to make himself give up on Kazuki.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kitamura Sora/Tsukumo Kazuki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tsukusora fics [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Side: Sora</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Not a part of the sidem vday exchange unless you count me giving myself the gift of tsukusora for vday as part of the vday exchange. Late because I have no self-control and this thing kept getting longer. Kazuki's side will come soon probably.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sora was good with words. Poetry was his forte, rhyme and meter a familiar home. He was no stranger to metaphors and similes, pathetic fallacy and the <i>kireji</i> in a haiku. He knew his way around half a dozen poetic forms, although haiku were what he was known for composing. He wasn’t fond of the traditional <i>kigo</i>, thinking their mandatory inclusion too restrictive, but the beauty of literature had always been the breaking of rules. So yes, Sora was good with words.</p><p>Or so he liked to think, as he did everything in his power to avoid using words to convey the unfortunate romantic feelings he had developed for his co-worker. His words had betrayed him - or, according to Amehiko, who had rolled his eyes at the statement, he was ‘too much of a chicken’ - and such found himself standing in front of the Valentine’s section in his local Daiso. He had a vague idea as to what he was going to do, although he didn’t really know what he was expecting out of it, if anything. There was no way anyone, let alone Kazuki would ever take interest in him. He was just going to anonymously give some chocolate to Kazuki, then Kazuki would… well, he hadn’t really planned it out that far. Hopefully he would make it clear that he wasn’t interested in him. Somehow. He mumbled to himself in the aisle until he had something that vaguely resembled a plan, with his anonymity his main priority. Sora could add a note stating that the chocolate was from a fellow 315 Productions idol, so that Kazuki could realise that the chocolate was from another guy and turn him down without ever knowing who exactly he was turning down. That way, Sora could stop getting his hopes up every time he saw the way Kazuki’s visible eye crinkled and the lips he definitely hadn't spent too much time glancing at turned up at the corners in the most charming way when he smiled at him.</p><p>(It was a perfect plan worthy of the highest praise, not a sigh, as Kuro reacted when he had shared his plan with the other a few days later. He hadn’t stopped him though, long since having given up on encouraging Sora to talk about his feelings like a functional human being.)</p><p>After much deliberation, Sora picked up a silicone chocolate mold with little star shapes. The heart one was far too forwards, the cat one was cute and had definitely tempted Sora more than it should have but it was maybe not the most appropriate for the occasion. You couldn’t go wrong with stars, he figured. After all, Kazuki had been the one to recommend him a spot to camp and watch the stars once, so it was somewhat fitting. Not to mention that Kazuki himself liked the stars, as Sora had discovered whilst trying to stop his face from flushing as he watched a commercial Kazuki had partaken in in which he acted out his dream date with the viewer. He couldn’t help but notice the similarities between his own outing at Kazuki’s recommendation and the dream date presented by Kazuki in the commercial. When he recommended that spot to Sora, had he had wanted him to turn around and invite him along? No, that was wishful thinking, and Sora was a very level-headed individual… one who just happened to be using the most roundabout way of confessing a crush possible.</p><p>He picked up a plain dark brown box and a length of red ribbon before checking out, adding the purchased items to the bag containing various different chocolate bars he had bought earlier that day. Suspecting that making his own chocolate would turn out badly, he had decided that simply melting down existing chocolate and putting them into molds would be enough. He was just doing this so that Kazuki would turn him down and he could get on with his life, after all. He glanced at the number of bars he’d bought, far more than he had planned. He knew that Kazuki liked milk chocolate, but had little knowledge as to what brands were the best, so he’d picked up three different ones and hoped for the best. Then, his eye had been drawn to the various assorted flavours on offer, and before he knew it he’d ended up with far more chocolate than he needed. Perhaps his… feelings had given him the unfortunate side-effect of picking up Kazuki’s notorious shopping habits.</p><p>That was fine though. There was no way he was going to end up using all of it, meaning that once Kazuki turned him down he would already have a plethora of comfort food at his disposal. Although he did prefer white chocolate himself - much to the scorn of the anti white chocolate group that had formed after the members of HighxJoker started a production-wide argument as to which type of chocolate was superior.</p><p>And so, Sora made his way home to begin making the chocolates. He googled how to melt chocolate, feeling mildly stupid as he did so, but he wanted them to at least be edible at the end of the process and couldn’t guarantee that they would be if he was left to his own devices. He melted the first half a bar in a bowl over a saucepan of simmering water, stirring to prevent it from burning. Once satisfied with the consistency, he poured it out, filling two of the molds before continuing with the next bar. Once finished with the regular milk chocolates, next up were the flavoured ones. Really, though, he wanted some sort of way for them to be distinguishable from the plain ones, and so started rummaging through the small kitchen cupboards. He managed to find a few tubes of coloured icing left over from when his brother had the spare time to try out baking, and shrugged, figuring it at least worth a try. He always had the rest of the chocolate planned for his inevitable post-being turned down depression that he could part with if it went horribly wrong. He finished pouring the various different chocolates into the mold, using a sharpie to write next to them so he would remember which was which before putting them in the fridge to cool. </p><p>After popping them out of their molds, Sora added a messy zig-zag of coloured icing to the top of each flavoured one, colours matching the flavours. It wasn’t the prettiest, but it served its purpose. He placed them back into the fridge, then into the box, wrapping the simple red ribbon around it and tying a more-or-less symmetrical bow on top.</p><p>There. It was done. There was no going back now, he told himself; although honestly he had told himself this at every stage of the process as to force himself to confront his feelings. All he had to do now was write a note, put it in the box - shit, he’d already tied it up, hadn’t he… he’d just tuck it under the ribbon instead then - and then deliver it to Kazuki, let his hopes get crushed, and never have to think about kissing him ever again.</p><p>--</p><p>Sora arrived earlier than usual on the morning of the 14th of February under the guise of wanting to do a little extra dance practice, something he often did, as he found dancing to be the hardest part of being an idol. He clutched his bag a little tighter than usual, anxious that someone would catch him in the act. Upon checking and double-checking to ensure that nobody was around, he opened the locker marked Tsukumo Kazuki, slipping the box out of his bag and inside the locker, closing it quietly and moving to his own before anyone could walk in. He still had an hour and a half before F-LAGS were due to arrive for their scheduled vocal lesson, so he forced himself to focus not on what would result of his anonymous confession but instead on his free hour of dance practice. </p><p>An hour and a half later, Sora was finished with dance practice and reading - or pretending to read - over the script for a movie he would be in alongside some other idols from the production. He made sure to be in earshot of the lockers when Kazuki arrived together with the rest of his unit. His heart pounded against his chest as he heard their idle chatter as they made their way to the lockers. He heard the swing of the locker, and the silence that followed it. He heard his confusion at the unexpected gift within his locker - or rather, he heard his unit mates nosily asking him what it was.</p><p>Daigo leaned over, standing on his tip-toes so he could get a better glimpse inside of the box.</p><p>“Ya got a secret admirer?”</p><p>Ryo sidled up to his other side, peeking in as well.</p><p>“Who’s it from?”</p><p>“...There’s a note, but it’s vague. The sender doesn’t wish to be identified, other than the fact that they are also an idol here.”</p><p>“Ooooh,” Daigo grinned “D’ya like anyone, sensei? Anyone here?”</p><p>“...I,” Kazuki hesitated, quietening. Sora strained his ears to hear. “…That seems to be the case, yes.”</p><p>
  <i>Fuck.</i>
</p><p>There went Sora’s dreams of never getting his hopes up again.</p><p>“They could be the same person!” Ryo chimed in.</p><p>“...I don’t think he would do something like this, though. He would be…” Kazuki fumbled with his words slightly, fighting a light blush from spreading across his cheeks. “More forwards than this, I think…” He trailed off in thought.</p><p>Oh. It looked like Sora could lower his hopes back down into their grave, then.</p><p>--</p><p>Whilst he thought he would be satisfied in the knowledge that Kazuki didn’t like him back, Sora had to admit he was pretty curious. Just who did Kazuki like? It was most likely someone around their age, which narrowed down the potential pool but not nearly enough to draw any conclusions.</p><p>He started on his mental list with the other idol at their production who was the same age as he and Kazuki - Kuro. He was a definite possibility, the two were close when it came to anything that didn’t include the discussion of shiitake mushrooms, which Kazuki adored and Kuro despised with his entire being. Although he couldn’t imagine Kuro to be very forwards, as Kazuki had stated. Out of those younger than them he didn’t seem particularly close to any of the eighteen year olds, but was often seen talking to Genbu as they frequently exchanged book recommendations. Whilst he had no idea as to what Kazuki found acceptable and certainly couldn’t ask him without drawing attention to himself, Sora drew the mental line at twenty-one, but either way neither of those two seemed right. Sora had heard tales of Kazuki and Hokuto participating in a <i>Ciao☆</i>-off when they worked together once, but other than that they didn’t seem to talk much. The same (minus the <i>Ciao☆</i>-off, although Sora would pay to see it happen) went for the other twenty year olds.</p><p>In short, he was stumped. Maybe he knew less about Kazuki than he thought. They spent quite a bit of time together, but he had no recollection of Kazuki mentioning any of their fellow idols to a notable level. He knew it was stupid but couldn’t help but feel almost ashamed for not being able to figure it out, how could he claim to like Kazuki if he didn’t even know him well enough to know such a thing.</p><p>Sora collapsed face-first onto the living room sofa with a sigh, fingers scraping at his scalp as he threw his hands through his hair in frustration. If Kazuki did end up in a relationship with anyone else in the production he would fully respect it and be happy for him, but thinking about it just… hurt a little. More than he wanted it to hurt, considering that he went through with this entire ordeal with the hope that doing so would make thinking about Kazuki hurt less.</p><p>Whatever. Kazuki didn’t like Sora, that much was for certain. He liked someone more who was more forwards than him. That was fine. That was what he wanted to know. It was his own fault for not preparing enough so that he wouldn't care if he found out that Kazuki liked someone else.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Side: Kazuki</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wrote most of this before posting Sora's half and then forgot about it with all the (gestures vaguely) shit going on<br/>Not proof read. Late happy white day</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kazuki had made up his mind.</p><p>He was going to confess to Sora. He had been thinking about the mystery sender ever since opening his locker on the fourteenth of February, and had been somewhat inspired by their courage. They hadn’t sent him the chocolates with any expectation of getting anything back in return, that much was certain by the way that they had left behind no name with the gift, but they had done it nonetheless. They had just wanted to make their affections known; maybe to get it off their chest, or maybe to let Kazuki know that someone could like him like that.</p><p>He had spent a while pondering over who could have been the one to send the gift but had come out of it feeling more confused than he had when he started trying to figure out who it could be. There wasn’t much to work off of, either. The only identifying feature, the short and simple note informing him that someone in the office held feelings for him, was printed out so that even their handwriting couldn’t be scrutinised. With this level of detail he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they’d handled the box with gloves to prevent it from becoming covered in fingerprints. By saying as little as possible the mystery sender had managed to do a good job of keeping him completely in the dark, it seemed.</p><p>The chocolates, which Kazuki believed were hand molded using shop bought chocolate, as one of them tasted very familiar to him, were made with a personal touch. The mystery sender had been kind enough to use icing to distinguish the different flavours, not to mention that they had cared enough to include different flavours in the first place. It was sweet of them; if he had disliked a particular flavour (not that he had) he could have easily identified which ones not to eat, and those he favoured the most he could choose to save until last.</p><p>In the weeks following the incident, he found himself thinking back to the chocolates left in his locker, and even further back to what Sora had said to him whilst they worked together for the first time - that he should be more assertive and tell others about his opinions. At the very least even if Sora didn’t return his affections, he thought that he would be happy for Kazuki for being able to tell him how he felt, because Sora valued truth above all else. A smile worked its way onto his face as he recalled their conversation, and how Sora had waited patiently as Kazuki began to talk about what aspects of the script he would draw attention to. You’re a writer, Kazuki-sensei~, he had encouraged when Kazuki hesitated, And even if you weren’t, your opinion is still valuable, we’re both in this movie after all~. Sora would often sound noncommittal in his speech, as if he were afraid of sincerely expressing his opinions, but here his words were a clear statement, filling Kazuki with courage.</p><p>After little prodding of Sora’s unitmates to discover which type of chocolate was his favourite - why they laughed in response was completely beyond him - he began to research the ingredients needed to create white chocolate from scratch. After consulting multiple recipes and comparing the comments on each, he set about purchasing the various ingredients needed along with a mold. His hand had admittedly hovered over one with little hearts, but he thought it too casual, something that should be reserved for couples instead of confessions. Instead, he picked out a simple mold with small dome shapes, a light blue ribbon and a box that would be the same colour as his chocolates - assuming, of course, that he didn’t mess them up.</p><p>--</p><p>The fourteenth of March finally rolled around. A month after Sora had hidden chocolate in Kazuki’s locker, Kazuki carefully packed his bag as to not squash the chocolate box by way of the many books he carried with him at all times. He knew he wanted to avoid doing this whole thing publicly, and so approached Sora as both neared the end of their working day in the office.</p><p>“Ah, good work today, Kazuki-sensei~.”</p><p>“...You too. May I speak to you for a moment? Alone, that is.”</p><p>Kazuki could’ve sworn that he saw a flash of panic dart through Sora’s eyes before being covered again with his usual facade. </p><p>“Sure~.”</p><p>Kazuki led him to the locker room, which he had already ensured was empty, before opening his locker and fishing out the pre-prepared box of chocolates sitting on top of his shoes. He turned around with a smile, hands outstretched to hand Sora the box.</p><p>“...Happy white day.”</p><p>Sora took half a step back, eyes widening in response.</p><p>“H-huh?”</p><p>“I understand that it must be a surprise to you, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable-”</p><p>“H-how did you know the chocolate was from me?”</p><p>“...The chocolate?” He wracked his brain as he tried to remember if Sora had given him any souvenirs lately.</p><p>“The… the stuff from last month. You know~...” Sora trailed off, suddenly finding the carpet to be of particular interest.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“...That was you?”</p><p>Kazuki had thought that Sora would be a little more direct considering that he preached honesty, but seeing his flustered reaction to being caught out made him realise that he had made a completely incorrect presumption.</p><p>“You didn’t know?”</p><p>Kazuki shook his head slowly.</p><p>“Then what are you giving me white day chocolate for~?”</p><p>“...I was thinking about what you said about the importance of honesty, so I wanted to say that,” he paused for a split second before continuing “...I have feelings for you.”</p><p>Sora felt as if he needed to pinch himself, convinced this was all some cruel trick conjured up by his mind. A quick and probably less stealthy than he believed it was pinch proved that this was in fact reality though. As Sora’s only reply was a look of total bewilderment, Kazuki continued speaking.</p><p>“...Do you still feel the same way you did about me when you wrote that note?”</p><p>Sora’s already flushed face darkened by another shade as he mumbled out an affirmative.</p><p>“...Then we both…” Kazuki trailed off, as unprepared for this situation as Sora was.</p><p>“Y...Yeah~...” </p><p>Silence.</p><p>“...So…” Kazuki cleared his throat “...What exactly is it that we do now?”</p><p>Sora started laughing, hand coming up to his face to instinctively cover his mouth as he did so. Kazuki’s heart stopped functioning as he watched the (cute) way his (cute) mouth upturned as he let out a (very cute) laugh. The situation they found themselves in was quite ridiculous, and so Kazuki couldn’t help but join in, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear as he laughed.</p><p>“I don’t know, we can get coffee or something~?” Sora grinned. “Whatever it is that people do, or whatever we want to do, I guess~.” It was something they had been doing on a regular basis anyway; something that they were accustomed to seemed like a good first step into… whatever this was.</p><p>They hadn’t exactly arrived at this point in a conventional way, there was no need for them to follow what other people saw as the norm. They could take it at their own pace and continue to be themselves, no matter what.</p><p>“...That sounds nice. Does tomorrow at lunch work for you?”</p><p>“Mhmm~. I’ll see you tomorrow then~.”</p><p>“...I’m looking forward to it.”</p><p>Sora smiled.</p><p>“Me too~.”</p>
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